Monday, July 2, 2012

Matt's letter


Monday, July 2, 2012

Hi Mom!

Well... Pretty good week. My companion is from Heber City, Utah (Actually Midway). He is a way cool guy and a good missionary!  I am pretty blessed. Haha I dislike training though. There is so much to do and so many "little" things to take care of. Just a lot of logistics, you know? And your new missionary always thinks you are a lousy missionary because you aren't how they described you in the MTC. I know how he feels, haha! But I wish we could just move past all the dumb stuff. Sorry so sound negative, haha I just know I can always tell you how I’m feeling mom! I love you for that. It’s just when you have a companion that’s been out longer, they are already past the "Independent" phase of missionary work, and they like having a companion. A new missionary still has the mentality of being alone, and would prefer to have some of that alone time back, but it is gone for 2 years.

Whew! I am so happy that I'm still in Tehachapi! I love it here! Michelle called after she got off the phone with you! She said that you sounded way nice, but the phone connection was bad. I hope you get a chance to chat for a while today! She is the best! I love her and john so much. Keep them in your prayers! I feel like they are so close.

I feel like I’ve been struggling this week. It’s hard to be a missionary! I sometimes feel really lost, but then it gets better for sure. Threes a lot working against the missionary efforts, and sometimes I feel it more than others. I guess this is just one of those times! :) But I’m doing ok. I love being a missionary, and I love being able to testify of Christ! It is amazing. 
We had a lesson at John and Michelle's on Tuesday, and we had no idea what to teach. We prayed and prayed, but we had no idea. We chatted for a few, then we shared a little scripture, and were getting ready to go, and Michelle broke down (Don't tell her I told you). I guess her medications are doing some black magic on her, so she’s having a hard time. She said she wants to join the church, but she’s afraid that she might lose the fire, or whatever, and she is way scared. We testified that Christ can heal her, and that she NEEDS to be baptized. She kept crying and expressing more deep emotions, and we unfortunately weren't able to leave until like 10:35. Sooo... the next day TiWi (our car monitor thing) told the car guy in the mission office, he called us, told us to be careful, and to not do it again, then later we got a text message from President asking what happened. Needless to say, I felt HORRIBLE. I felt like I totally squashed my trust with President and that he was disappointed in me. The worst feeling ever! I felt like we needed to stay with her and John and help them, but also that we needed to go home. I think it's OK, I don't think he's mad, but I still feel bad. We explained ourselves, then called and left a message apologizing, and I have committed to never do it again!  I attribute this to you mom! You always stress over things, and guess what? So do I! Thanks! haha no, you’re the best.

We've been blessed to be able to teach the whole Evans family, including the once not-interested dad! We had a lesson with Monica and the kids on Wednesday, then dinner with them on Saturday night. We taught them the Gospel of Jesus Christ lesson, and the whole family was there and participated!  Think dad is liking it more and more! He's come to church now 3 weeks in a row! Wow! What a miracle. We have been very blessed.

I did get you package! Thank you so much mom! I loved it! :) You are the best. The jerky is exquisite and I love candy! :) I unfortunately lost the wallflower thingy in thousand oaks maybe when we moved or when I got transferred up here, so I don't have a wall - thing for the smelly stuff. If it not too much... could I steal another one from you?  I'm sorry! you’re the best momma. Thanks for all your support! You are the best.

I'm trying everyday to improve and be better. It’s an ongoing process! I'm getting there slowly and surely. I want very badly to be like my Savior and love as he did, it's just a difficult task being a natural man and subject to the temptations of the adversary. Any help or uplifting advice would be much appreciated. I hope you know that I Know that the church is true! It seem so obvious to me and I feel so blessed to have this knowledge. I am lucky to be able to share it with others for this short time I have devoted to Him. I need all the prayers and love I can get, so please don't stop! You are the best, and I love you so much!



--
Elder Matthew Monk
 California Ventura Mission
         -  Jan. 2011 - Jan. 2013 -

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